Friday, 8 September 2017

Introductory Letter

Self-Introduction

09 September 2017

RE: Self-Introduction

Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,

My name is Ong Xun Qi, and I am writing to introduce myself to you as a student in your Effective Communication class. I graduated with a diploma in Clean Energy from Temasek Polytechnic. Initially, I did not like my course as i had difficulty coping with Engineering Maths which was beneficial for students with Additional Mathematics background and I was unable to get in to Amaths due to my mediocre results in Elemental Mathematics in secondary school days. Nevertheless, I persevered and managed to do fairly well in the Maths modules i took in my first year and a half. It was until year 3 when i was posted to a solar energy company for internship that aroused my interest in this field of work. Thus, I have decided to pursue my interest by furthering my studies in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering(Land).

My goal for studying in this module is to improve on my communication skills. In every profession we take up in society, communication is an important factor in many situations. Several examples are working together with colleagues, giving presentations and liaising with clients. I hope to brush up on my writing skills and learn to be more professional in giving presentations to others. 

In terms of weakness in communication, I am very bad in writing with many grammar mistakes and improper sentence phrasing. Due to this, the main point in my writing has always been neglected or not brought up clearly. This becomes a big obstacle in my learning journey in English.

As far as a strength, I would suggest that i am able to maintain good eye contact with the audience while in presentations through my past experiences in polytechnic and internship. For instance, I was able to relay the important details of my Solar PV System to my lecturers back in the days I was doing my Major Project in Poly year 3.2 attaining a B+ grade for it. 

I believe that learning to communicate well is greatly beneficial in making me a better person and I sincerely look forward to improving myself from your teachings in the coming Effective Communication classes.

Best regards,
Ong Xun Qi

SIE2017
Edited 13 September 2017
Edited 16 September 2017
Edited 21 September 2017

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6 comments:

  1. Hi Xun Qi,

    You have state clearly your course of study in polytechnic. By writing how you feel about your course, make readers understand you more.

    The readers know that you are trying very hard in your polytechnic course. You have state your goals in this effective communication module.

    By stating your weaknesses, will let audience understand your character. You have note down your strengths. Sometimes it is hard to give a presentation. When entering workforce, it is quite challenging to face different types of colleagues.

    Thanks
    Jickson

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jickson, thank you very much for your time in reading my post. Look forward to working with you in class.

      Delete
  2. Hi Xun Qi. The post is very well organised and very thought processed. It is well paragraphed and also detailed in the attention(i.e.the underlined subject). However, there are a few errors that I noticed

    It was until year 3, when i was posted to a solar energy company for internship…
    -- the comma here can be emitted

    In every profession we take up in society, communication is a important factor in many situations such as working together with colleagues, giving presentations and…
    --could have been separated to 2 sentences.

    …I am very bad in writing as i am often face with many grammar mistakes and improper sentence phrasing….
    --"as i am often face with" "am" in this phrase could have been omitted.

    Overall was a good effort and was very pleasant as a reader to reach your introduction letter. I look forward to working with you in future projects

    Thank you
    John

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi John, i heeded your advice and made the amendments. Thank you very much for your feedback. Look forward to working with you too.

      Delete
  3. Dear Xun Qi,

    Thank you for this formal letter. I like the way you draw a vivid picture of your background as well as your evolving interest in engineering. You do a fine job tracing your coursework and then connecting your internship experience to your joining SIE at SIT.

    In addition, you are very specific in terms of the explanation you give for both your communication strength and weakness. Your goals are also clear though just a tad broad in scope.

    In terms of language use, this is a fluent post. One area that you need to review though is your use of commas. I have noted many cases in which you overuse commas. Here are a couple:

    - ... I was doing my Major Project in Poly year....

    - I was unable to get in to Amaths due to my mediocre results in Elemental Mathematics in secondary school days.

    You might check these websites:

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

    and http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp Rule 12)

    One other minor language issue: ,,,a important factor >>> (article use) aN important factor

    Other than these points, your post is quite error-free. I appreciate the effort and look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Professor Blackstone,

    Thank you for your comment. I have tried making amendments to the post. Please feel free to let me know if there are any improvements that i can make for my formal letter

    Thank you,
    Xun Qi

    ReplyDelete

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